


There For You

by youarenotmybus



Category: The Politician (TV 2019)
Genre: Alice and Astrid being soft best friends, Astrid throwing shade at Payton because of course she is, Female Friendship, Season/Series 02, What happens in between the time jump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youarenotmybus/pseuds/youarenotmybus
Summary: After a long, mysterious disappearance Astrid visits Alice in the hospital to meet her baby and settle unfinished business.
Relationships: Alice Charles & Astrid Sloan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	There For You

**Author's Note:**

> I really love the friendship that Astrid and Alice developed towards the end of season two. Since we should've gotten more of them interacting as a duo, I thought I'd write a little something involving the two of them. Enjoy!

The hospital is cold and sterile, and the medicinal smell brings Astrid Sloane back to memories she’d rather forget. Nevertheless she persists, keeping her head held high. It’s the one thing she’s always known how to do. Chin tilted upwards, eyes staring into the far off distance. Not an ounce of emotion betrayed, not even an accidental twitch of the jaw. This is the only way.

It’s always been the only way.

Nurses clad in pastel-colored scrubs cast concerned glances her direction, but Astrid pays them no mind. She’s not sure what’s drawing attention: her determined expression, the startlingly dark circles blooming beneath her eyes, or the charisma she has always unwittingly radiated. Fortunately for Astrid, she has learned the art of ignoring stares from others.

At last she arrives at the appointed room. Her hand hovers over the metal door handle, and she wills it not to tremble. This isn’t a big deal, she thinks. She'll just get in, say what she needs to say, and get out. With a sharp twist of the handle the door opens, and suddenly before her is Alice Charles. Well, Alice Hobart now.

For a brief moment, Alice doesn’t even notice her. She is sitting in a hospital bed, fixated on the bundle lying in her arms, hopelessly entranced by it. To call her glowing would be an understatement. Alice Hobart is incandescent.

Once upon a time, in a conversation that feels like centuries ago, she told Alice she would make a good mother. And she meant it. Astrid didn’t dole out sincerity in unlimited supply, but she knew Alice was born to be a mother—something she can't say for herself.

“Hi there,” Astrid says finally, still standing in the doorway. Alice looks up, her resplendent smile replaced by shock.

“Astrid?” she says, blue eyes wide with surprise. “Is that you?”

Astrid briefly glances down at herself. “I think so. You tell me.”

Alice breaks out into relieved laughter. “Where have you been? What have you been doing?” she asks.

Astrid bites her lower lip. It’s a landmine of a question.

“Around. Stuff,” she shrugs, examining her nails.

Alice laughs again, incredulous. “And what is that supposed to mean?” she asks, raising what’s left of her eyebrows. The usually impeccable Alice Charles is makeupless and slightly disheveled, but Astrid supposes reaching for an eyebrow pencil is probably the last thing on any new mother’s mind.

“You can’t just disappear for eight months and then not tell anyone where you went,” Alice prods, suddenly serious. Her voice has shifted back into its signature deep, husky tone. Astrid knows she’s not going to get out of here without answering her. Alice is nothing if not persistent. You have to be, if you’re going to be Payton’s wife.

“I traveled,” Astrid says, shrugging again.

“You...traveled,” Alice repeats.

Astrid realizes instantly she won’t get away without providing details. With a roll of her eyes she strides into the room, letting the door swing shut behind her, and promptly takes a seat next to Alice. Up close she can actually look at her and Payton’s baby, although there’s nothing much to see. Every baby looks the same when first born: more alienlike than adorable. Astrid never got the appeal.

She inhales sharply. Then, an exasperated sigh.

“I traveled. For a while.” Her eyes flicker from the baby back up to Alice. Alice, who is looking at her with more concern than anyone ever has since River. It’s too much to take in, so she opts to keep her gaze on the infant. Now that she’s looking again, maybe he does look a little something like Payton. She can’t help but wonder if her baby would have resembled him too.

“I just want you to know that I still don’t regret it,” she blurts. “Not a day goes by that I’m not happy I chose what I did.”

Traitorous tears start leaking into the corner of her eyes, no matter how hard Astrid tries to blink them away. I told myself this wouldn’t happen, she thinks.

“There’s only one thing I regret.” She keeps her hands in her lap, refusing to wipe away her tears. Astrid could count on one hand the number of times she’d cried in front of someone, but she’d found the best option was to not acknowledge what was happening. If she could pretend she wasn’t crying, it was easy enough to trick the other person into ignoring it as well.

“I regret—”

Astrid’s breath catches. She shoves a lock of hair behind one ear.

“I never told you—” she says, words unable to bypass the lump in her throat.

She feels Alice’s fingers close over one of her hands, tenderness radiating from her skin. Astrid quickly snatches her hand back. She has to, otherwise she knows she’ll be sobbing within seconds.

That’s what happens when your life has been void of kindness. An ounce of affection and you’re undone. That’s why she never let River get too close.

And where had that gotten her? A lifetime of regret for all the intimacy she could’ve had with him but didn’t?

Reluctantly, she reaches for Alice’s hand. She doesn’t want to make the same mistakes again.

“I never told you how much I appreciated what you did for me, that day.”

There. The words are out of her mouth at last.

She looks up at Alice. There’s a soft, thoughtful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“I was just happy to be there for you, Astrid,” she replies, squeezing her hand.

And there for Astrid she was. Holding her hand like this the entire time, her thumb tracing comforting circles. Whispering to her, telling her everything was going to be okay. And with the certainty in Alice’s voice, she believed everything would be.

“Well,” Astrid says, shifting in her seat. She clears her throat. “That’s all I wanted to say. Where’s your husband?”

“Emergency meeting,” Alice says, as if that explains it all. And it does. The life of a politician is a demanding one, to say the least. She didn’t envy Alice. No matter how much Payton claimed to love her, everything would always be second to his career. Even his wife and newborn.

“Do you want to hold him?” Alice asks.

Astrid’s heart skips a beat.

“I completely understand if it’s too uncomfortable,” Alice quickly amends. “No hard feelings on my end.”

“No,” Astrid says. “No, I want to.”

The second she’s cradling the child in her arms, her fears are confirmed. It feels all too real, holding a baby bearing Payton’s features. This could’ve been her, lying in a hospital room with a baby she never wanted.

But at the same time, she can’t bring herself to hand him back. This baby is half of Alice too, and for her sake she wants to hold him.

“You know that if you ever need anything, Astrid, Peyton and I are always here for you,” Alice says, breaking the companionable silence they’d fallen into.

Astrid looks up. There’s that concerned look on her face again. It simultaneously feels wonderful and horrendous to have someone concerned for her. She wonders if she could ever get used to it, if having a person care about her could ever feel normal or even halfway comfortable.

“I know,” she says, and she means it. She knows that if she reached out, her and Payton wouldn’t cease to help her the best they could. But she knows she never will. As much as she hates to admit it, she’s still her father’s daughter, instilled with the same pride that coursed through his veins.

“I’ve really got to get going,” Astrid says. It’s a lie. She has no place to be. But she’s said all she came to say, and she’s sat in Alice’s well-intentioned pity long enough.

She hands the baby back and walks toward the door. She’s prepared to say her farewells, walk out, and never look back. But something she can’t name stops her.

“Alice?” she says, bracing herself against the doorframe. “Do you want to have dinner sometime? Just the two of us. No offense, but Payton is best taken in small doses. I don’t think I could do an entire dinner with him and still have an appetite.”

Alice laughs a genuine, unburdened laugh. Motherhood has softened her and sanded away her rough edges. Gone is the cold, calculating first-lady-in-training with her gaze fixed eternally on the White House. Astrid can tell that raw ambition is still present, but it’s diluted by a warmth that wasn’t there before.

“I’d love to,” she replies, eyes crinkling at the edges. “No Payton allowed.”

“As it should be,” Astrid says, giving a smirk before disappearing out the door.

As she walks down the hospital halls for the second time today, the air doesn’t feel as cold or sterile. She drops her chin, not feeling the need to keep her head as high as before. It feels nice, not being on the defense. Terrifying, but nice.

Maybe this is what letting people in is supposed to feel like, Astrid thinks as she walks out the exit and stands under a cornflower blue sky.

Maybe it’s frightening for everybody. Frightening, but exhilarating.

She could get used to this feeling.


End file.
